Fangs a lot

The Liebster Award, it’s called, and I got it from the homegirl Erin over at Deep Red Rum. Why thank you, Erin. Fangs. I’m gonna copy/paste what she copy/pasted about the why & how of this award, this Liebster Award:

I know these ‘viral/chain letter’ awards are all just a bit of fun and dismissed by some people, but I feel if someone has gone to the effort to think of my site as a nomination and set some questions, the least I can do is answer them and post it up, linking back to them as a way of thanks and maybe shedding some light on myself and other bloggers in the process, which is what these awards are really all about, getting to know our community a little better.

Yeah, that sounds about right. According to the rules of this award, I have to:

1) Post eleven things about myself.
2) Answer the eleven questions the person giving the award has set
    for me.
3) Choose eleven people to award and send them a link to my post.

OK, here goes (I noticed Erin went with movie-related stuff, so that’s what I’ll probably do):

1. I like but don’t love the original Star Wars trilogy. Having said that, it’s been a long while, so perhaps it’s time to watch them again and find out if my feelings change for the better, worse, or don’t change at all.

2. On a sorta related note, it wasn’t until I first watched Pulp Fiction that I got that same wonderful HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE EVAAAARRR feeling that I’m sure many a Star Wars fan got when they were first exposed to the Force.

3. I used to make mix DVDs for the people in my life, because I used to give a shit and had that kind of time. Usually they were double or triple features with trailers or commercials or other shit that the receiver of said mix DVD would appreciate. Since they were usually made from VHS movies or Laserdiscs I owned (or rented), the quality was pretty good.

4. I made a movie when I was 11 called Catzilla, starring my black cat, General. Yeah, the color is important, that’s why I mentioned it. It mainly consisted of my cat slumping over and bathing itself between my badly-made model buildings while I pushed toy cars or lowered down toy helicopters on a string towards her, and then cutting to close-ups of me or one of my friends sitting on a folding chair pretending to drive/fly said vehicles. All this drama played to the tape-recorded scores of Darkman and Batman Returns, although on occasion during the cat shots you might hear me in the background doing variations of DUN DUN DUN because I’m an idiot. Our characters were all so freaked out about the giant disinterested cat in our path. I put it down on an SLP tape containing the HBO/Cinemax recordings of Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight and the Jay Leno/Pat Morita buddy cop film Collision Course because classics belong together. I don’t know what happened to that goddamn tape. If you happen to find it, give it back. It’s mine.

5. The first film I remember seeing in a movie theater was The Neverending Story. Flying dog FTW.

6. The first film I watched on DVD was The Assignment, starring Aidan Quinn and Donald Sutherland, which I had rented. My first purchase was Wild Things, and it was upon that viewing that I realized the marvelous technology that is the Digital Versatile Disc.

7. I had an honest-to-goodness nervous breakdown immediately after viewing the final cut of my first feature. Eventually, I got over it and made peace with the fact that they can’t all be Catzilla. Also, this.

8. You know those poor souls who are hardcore about brewing their own coffee and how much better it is than everywhere else? I’m like that about my popcorn. I don’t even get popcorn at most theaters because the popcorn at these establishments suck a big fat metaphorical appendage. But I do love the popcorn at the New Beverly Cinema and the Landmark Nuart. New Bev is cheaper, though, so that edges out the latter. And while Nuart can’t compete price-wise, they do offer pitchers of water in the lobby, so you can step out during a lull and fill up on some H20 while winking at the concession stand girl with the distinct voice, creeping her out.

8b. Speaking of those theaters, my first New Bev film was a double-feature of Straw Dogs and Marathon Man, back in ’99. My first Nuart film was the re-release of the original Solaris, back in ’02.

9. At one point I owned five copies of George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead; the VHS Thorn-Emi release, the first Anchor Bay “flipper” DVD of the extended cut, the ’99 “anniversary” release that was a kind of hybrid cut of both the extended and theatrical versions, a VHS dub from the Japanese laserdisc of the Argento edit, and finally, the ’05 Ultimate Edition dvd set. You see, I like that movie.

10. The riffing was better in the later seasons of MST3k, but personality-wise, I’m more of a Joel guy than a Mike guy. TV’s Frank owns them all, though.

11. I started with cinematic sacrilege and I will close out with it as well: As much as I like This Is Spinal Tap, I gotta say I think Fear of a Black Hat is better in my humblest of humble opinions.


Now, to answer the 11 questions I was given: 

1. Why do you think cops in horror movies are always so reluctant to try to catch the killer? I’m watching Edge of the Axe right now and the sheriff is a useless ass, but it seems to be a theme in many horror movies. 

Because to catch the killer immediately would mean moving on the next case and possibly dealing with someone even worse, requiring harder work. Fuck that shit, I’ll take my sweet ass time trying to find whoever is chopping up all these comely coeds. I’m not getting paid enough for this shit and I’m two weeks from retirement anyway.

2. Name a minor horror character you like, preferably one who has almost no bearing on the plot and who seems to be in the film just to entertain in a WTF way. 

Aside from Random Kung-Fu Guy from Pieces, I’m pretty sure Jack Black was having fun at the film’s expense with his portrayal of Dreadlocked Pot-Smoking Douchebag in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.


3. Is there a horror villain you root for? Difficulty: no Freddy Krueger.


Hmm. Jason would be as obvious as Freddy, right? If it’s a teen slasher, chances are I’m rooting for the bad guy.

4. Who would win in a fight between Christopher Lee as Dracula and Christopher Lee as Frankenstein’s monster?

Dracula. 


5. What movie character do you have a crush on?

Shakma from Shakma.


6. Is there a horror movie that you think absolutely goes too far?

No. But I get annoyed when a movie only focuses on being as extreme as possible while forgetting to have a screenplay with a story and characters the audience would give a shit about. Then the filmmakers crow about how the bad reviews are a result of the movie being too hardcore. No, your film got bad reviews because it sucks, regardless of how much blood and anguish you put in the motherfucker.

7. What is your favorite song from an 80s movie?

I can’t narrow the shit down, lady, I love too many of them. But recently I watched Warrior of the Lost World in its original non-MST3k version, and there’s this really cheesy song near the end (the scene where Robert Ginty gets some sugar from Persis Khambatta) with some female vocalist warbling about god knows what and it’s Good Times for my ears.

8. What weapon would you want most in a zombie siege?

One of those movie guns that never runs out of ammo. And an army of zombie fodder to slow those flesh-eating bastards down while I head for the hills.

9. What movie’s ending would you rewrite?

As far as horror/slasher films go, I’d probably rewrite the end to The House on Sorority Row. Don’t know what I’d come up with, I just know the end was pretty lame compared to everything that preceded it.

10. What is your favorite moment in which a movie totally rips off another movie?

Probably the last shot in Raising Cain, which as far as I’m concerned was probably the result of Brian De Palma watching a certain Dario Argento film and going Bingo!

11. What movie did you learn the most from, and what did you learn? Either a serious answer or a facetious one will do.
 

El Mariachi. It taught me early on that it’s possible to go out there and make a film with little to no resources, and that there’s more than one way to get things done, not just the way it’s been done forever. Now here’s a video with a dog in it:

Ok, now to pass this award on to 11 other people:

Scarlett Johansson
Brian Wilson
Mr. T
Gertrude Stein
Classy Freddie Blassie
Tina Fey
Quentin Tarantino
Charlotte Brontë
Frank Zappa
Amy Adams
Bruce Lee

I’ll e-mail the questions to you guys when you get back to me, so don’t leave me hanging. As for the rest of ya’ll, I will see you anon.

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2 Responses to “Fangs a lot”

  1. I don't have those feelings that some people have about Star Wars either. Kung Fu Guy from Pieces is a great answer to the minor character question. I think it's awesome that you pointed out Brian DePalma ripped off Argento, since I'm pretty sure Argento ripped off the last shot of Suspiria from a Hitchcock film, and so in my mind it's as if DePalma was all like, “Bullshit! Nobody rips off Hitchcock but me! Take that!” Thanks for doing the survey.

  2. Holy shit, I never thought of it that way; DePalma is definitely kind of a smart-ass provocateur and I can see him justifying his lift that way. This left me thinking of having a DePalma/Argento/Hitchcock triple-bill, perhaps a kind of full-circle of the films containing the parts they ripped off from each other (well, the first two guys).

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